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July 22, 2016

Chapter 12
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© #KCMmuoe 2016

#writing #amwriting #BWWM #Story. #Samedifference  #selfpublishing #wordpress #KCMmuoe

#AlessiaCara #River of tears
#JessieJ Ft #JamesMorrison. #up

Storms. We’ve all in some way have experienced storms . They either give you more character , make you more stronger , or prepare you for a bigger storm ahead. I heard my priest talk about challenges the other Sunday at mass, given my attention span and my ability to spontaneously think… I caught the last bit of his sermon where he said; “if the one thing you fear happens to you once , you are not afraid of it happening again cause you have learnt how to overcome it, and overcoming is a gift that helps you move on ,let go and live again.”

As true as that may sound…Sometimes we don’t even know we are caught in a storm until we are in the eye, where everything is calm inside and way messy on the outside. I always say that if you were ever comfortable with chaos and know how to handle it you can always find calm.
Then again if there is no storm how else are you going to feel the calm…

The day we found out about Andrew was the best day ever .I recorded the sound of his heartbeat even and made it my ring tone.
I was beyond elation. However my  husband was acting strange… From  the time Teresa was telling me what to expect and when my next appointment due he said nothing , which worried me.
He was always a hands on type of guy when it came to anything. He was busy fiddling with his wrist watch on the way back to the hotel and he was way too distant.He didn’t touch me or open the door . Immediately after I opened the door , slid into the seat and closed the door he told the cab driver where were headed and didn’t make any eye contact with me. Which made me wonder again what was going on… 

Brent might seem like a broodey guy , who is “deep” and emotionally cold , but what I have come to understand over the years is that he is an intense guy . He feels, loves, hates,forgives and does things with intensity. At first it used to scare the jelly beans out of me, cause I’m very  sensitive and to an extent fragile. I cry easily. I know myself and Brent has always told me on more than one occasion that he envies my ability to cry easily and be comfortable with my emotions…what I later realized was that it balanced everything out his intensity complimented my sensitivity and vice versa .

When we made it to the hotel suite and he was still distant and quiet… When dinner arrived I was in the lounge on my note book submitting  a report that had to be in by Friday it was already Tuesday evening and I had finished my work load within  four hours, to keep my mind off the fact that my husband was treating me like a stranger…  When the table was set we were both summoned to the patio  .The waiter disappeared as fast as he came and just like that I was left alone with Brent who had changed into a simple white  long sleeve  V neck cotton sweater and black jeans. I had on  a navy blue long sleeve  crew neck top  with blue jeggings and I was walking around in white socks that had buttercup flowers printed on them  on a wooden floor, it was an accident waiting to happen but I was not all that worried.
Sitting opposite Brent who was still quiet, which was getting kind of annoying …  I pushed my plate of food aside and decided to  walkout, just as I was about to walk over the threshold Brent broke his silence.

“Clara please come back to the table and eat.”
Brent said it in such a stern tone I jolted and almost slipped .

I turned around and leaned against the glass door frame for balance  and locked eyes with Brent. As much as he tried to hide what was going on I saw the truth in his eyes before he spoke.

“No I’ve just lost my appetite. Enjoy dinner …alone  you’ve had no trouble ignoring me since we came from the hospital, you know how that feels … I am here tell me what’s going on. We are a couple, a team for crying out loud Perelli… I can see it in your eyes that you are in doubt. ”

Brent remained seated and took a deep breath and looked at me.

” Reasonable doubt.”

“What is it ?”
I threw both my hands in the air in surrender

“You keeping the fact that you used to date my brother doesn’t sit well with me . He did what he did to protect you . ”

“What kissing a different girl each week and fibbing to me about where he had been . ”

I saw anger in Brents’ eyes.His body language was also telling me something different… He was clenching and un clenching his fists.

” He did that for your protection. I’ve been going back an forth in my head, why Luke Stevens has it out for our family , why Carl would rather hang out where you are with a different girl but look at you all night, why he asks about you before me or our father. ”

I carefully walked by from the door to the couch and sat down to recover from what I had just heard. I looked up at and when I did Brent was sitting on the other end of the couch looking troubled. 

“Brent what are you afraid of? ”
He gave me a look that I prayed never to see again…

” I’m not afraid. I’m suspicious.”

” You don’t trust me around Carlo.”

He looked at me with blood shot eyes … I wasn’t aware until I saw him at close range. He closed his eyes and opened them again , and I had the worst feeling ,I couldn’t describe set in my stomach.

” I don’t trust Carlo around   you. Hell even at the funeral he couldn’t keep his hands off you… The both of you went missing for two hours after the service! Two and given how old this fetus is , and you not telling me… ”

I took a deep breath feeling a tad bit angry at Brent. I started crying …
“How was I  to know ? I didn’t see the signs , I had no symptoms ! . Brent you are being a jerk right now I don’t understand where this is coming from. ”

Brent gave me an accusatory look.

“Your iron levels dropping must have been a sign or better yet gaining weight… May be Andrea missed the mark… Cause I’m not going to raise  another mans’ baby and stay married to you.  ”

I stood up and looked at him with tears in my eyes. Feeling fired up and hurting at the same time.

” Wow. Just wow. You just called our baby a fetus… He or she is a living soul ”

“That’s what it is .I honestly fell in love with you , but you have betrayed me in the worst possible way… I cannot believe!”

“Brent shut the hell up ! I am not done! I have sat here for the past couple of hours, going half crazy . Thinking I’ve done something to make you mad .You have insulted me and  our baby. You are implying that I slept with your brother and I’m having his child … On top of that you think I’m screwing your brother while we are married… Do you really think so low of me? ”

“If the shoe fits. Since Andrea is gone too I guess I don’t feel any responsibility towards you.”

“I cannot believe you right now… You might have just ended us .”

“Good then I guess we have nothing to say to each other. We are done. This … What ever it was is through.” 
At that point my face was full of tears that just wouldn’t stop flowing. It felt like I had been cut open and every part of my soul was expose and I was being hit by one missile after another.

“That’s where you are wrong . The baby I am carrying is yours. You for some sort of odd reason are convinced that I am having an affair with Carl… Which isn’t true. I love you. I chose you,but its becoming crystal clear that you’ve fallen out of love with me… I don’t know when or how that happened I can’t change how you feel, but what I can change is how  I deal with this and move on. What I will do though is have the baby and raise it by myself.”

I pulled a tissue out of the tissue box that was on the coffee table beside the couch cleared and my face.

“That is the best idea that has come out of your lying mouth ,oh and you can cry me a river for all I care we are done Clara. ”

“I got that the first time you said it.”
Brent stood up,went to the table and started clearing it . I realized he also didn’t touch his food and went back to giving me the silent treatment.
I walked back inside, headed straight for my suitcase which was already packed , put on my black sneakers and called the shuttle service to the airport and  without a word left. It took fifteen minuets to get to the airport and an hour to get back home. By the time the plane landed it was well after eleven pm I switched on my phone saw ten missed calls and  five messages surprisingly from Brent .Then it dawned on me that he can  track me down using his phone so he could find me if he needed me … And since he was clear about us being over . I cleared all his messages and wiped away a tear that had made its way down my cheek. I couldn’t ask Carlo for help cause, Brent would have already called him and told him what happened after he had cooled off and he would find me.

I called Kat and and told her everything  she came without Tim and dropped me off at the hotel. I used my American express card to pay for everything. Another way Brent could find me was if I used the joint account we had and I figured I needed time to cool off and get my act together. Luckily the hotel had a spar and just as a precautionary measure I removed Brent , Carlo,Tim and Kat from the app that we all used so by the next day no one would be able  to find me.

I got cleaned up and changed into my PJs and collapsed on the bed and just as I was about to drift to sleep my phone rang I glanced at the screen and there was no identification , it was a land line . At first I thought it could be  the hotel calling but I answered anyway.

” Hello ?”
There was silence on the other end of the line but I could hear heavy breathing and sobbing. I knew who it was before  they could speak.

” We said all we needed to say tonight. Why are you calling me?”

“Where are you?”

“Far away from your poisonous sting.”

I took a deep breath and remembered the events that transpired. I was still reeling and on top of everything else tired. I knew Brent couldn’t sleep if I wasn’t with him or at least talk to him before he went to sleep.  

“I’m sorry for all the  hurtful things I said. I lost control and you were right I was afraid. I hate feeling vulnerable and you always see right though me and instead of letting you in , I retaliated by being mean. ”

I heard a knock on my hotel room door and put on my sneaks . It was a cold summers day so I had on my black cotton pants and long sleeve rose print  thermal  top . I  made my way to the door

“What’s really wrong ?  I promise to try and be understanding .”
I made it to the door and unlocked it.

“I will tell you. First things first my fathers’ guys tracked me down .They say that they’ve been watching over us for safety reasons Seppi’s orders . They went all panicky when I told them we had an argument and you left . They are on high alert . A threat was made against the family. When I mentioned you were pregnant with my son they went crazy trying to find you… But you’re not pitching on either Kat, Tim or Carlo’s track me down list. ”

“I removed all of you . I didn’t want to be found . There’s someone at the door hold on. ”
I was about to unlock it , when the person on the other side knocked again


“Brent ? ”

“I love you and our child. ”
I took a deep breath …

“We both know. Give me a moment Brent Wolf…”
I unlocked the door and heart dropped when I saw two  guys all in black charging in my room. I didn’t even have time to put into practice what I learned in impact class .
The next thing I knew my phone was thrown on the floor, still on cause I could hear Brent screaming my name…  I was being restrained by one of the guys  and injected with what ever the hell was in that syringe by the second guy. I remember something black going over my head . Drifting in and out of consciousness. My body felt numb.

All I remembered doing was praying that what was happening was a bad dream and that my baby was okay…  Before my body gave in I heard a voice that was familiar, and just like that blackness.

*A/N.  Read. #Chapter 3
Its heavily connected to this chapter in a way.
Thank you for reading. Any comments are  welcome. Brent is a complicated guy who needs understanding cause is misunderstood . You’ll realize that as a character he is a guy dealing with a lot and is afraid if he shows all of himself emotionally  to the ones he loves, he will appear weak. Clara in some way challenges him to open up completely which scares him cause he thinks she will leave once she sees that he is a softie. Andrea only got to  see his softer side .  If you read Chapter 3.

It will show you why Clara was distant and reluctant at first to share the news. This couple does compliment each other . Clara hasn’t revealed her past Thank you so much for reading :)*
#writing #amwriting #BWWM #Story. #Samedifference  #selfpublishing #wordpress #KCMmuoe

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