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June 7, 2016

Chapter 10
All rights reserved
© #KCMmuoe 2016

#Mumford&sons #Hopelesswanderer
#JohnLegend #everybodyknows
#Chainsmokers #Insideout


In a moment everything can change… You blink and your whole life is turned upside down, you blink again and you cannot believe what’s happening to you. You blink a couple more times and looking from the outside in and inside out, you have lived so many lives ,executed so many roles , put out fires that you didn’t start, fought and won wars that you never initiated , and learn to let go of what doesn’t serve you right…Then you learn to breathe easy and count your blessings.

I have a lot to be thankful for. Brent , Andrew and our new edition to our family … I know I gave birth…via C section. I had flashbacks of everything that happened.
I remember Carlo pulling me out of his car , flashing lights , florecent lights, machines beeping,needles and well lala land. Its funny how you have flashbacks that feel like dreams of what happened in the past.You can hear what’s going on around you, and who is saying what… But you have to will yourself to wake up and after trying to jack all the switches …your body decides to catch up and you discover something amazing you are alive.

Looking up the only thing I see is soft white floresent lights and I know I’m alive… cause my room smells of roses and orchards. I can feel someone’s hand holding mine too. I shift my head slightly and I see a head full of floppy curls. It can’t be my husband. He ties his hair up when he works… I know cause the last time he had his hair short was six months after Andrew was born.
Our son always latched on his hair;be it tired up or worn loose he would either be pulling or chewing his hair.Wierdly enough he knew his father by his hair, voice ,face and heartbeat.

When he cut his hair Andrew didn’t want to be held by him he cried every time. .He would scream cause the only way he was able to identify his father by touch was by his hair, only when he started talking he calmed down. There are moments as a parent that you treasure;moments of laughter
,joy ,love ,contentment, and peace . I had taken a picture the other day of Andrew sleeping soundly on Brents’ shoulder . He was reading him a story and both of them hit lights out. More and more each day Andy looks like Brent … They are both my life I love them so much.

I’m also thankful to God for giving me Brent. I’m not perfect and I’m very hard on myself.
He is the one person who can see right through me and keep me from falling over the edge.
There was a period when I called it quits on everything including love. When I became friends with Brent all that changed.
I guess heartbreak changes people in the strangest of ways … I didn’t believe my heart would heal but he always spoke to a part of me that I have always been afraid to show, and through his persistence ,patience and understanding nature over the years we have developed an unbreakable bond . My heart was able to heal and piece by piece the titanium shield I put around my heart began to break down.
Even when I was feeling guilty for past mistakes he still accepted me foe what I did and loved me regardless…
I guess the question is … When did I you know?
How do you know the person you are with is it. The answer is simple.
When you can be unapologetically yourself and be loved unconditionally.

I still remember the day Brent found out about Luke.The guy who came before him.As far as this story goes , let’s just say I didn’t deserve to be treated the way I was … You can forgive someone so many times before you realize they will never change.

It was a chilled Saturday morning and I somehow hit lights out hard from the night before and my muscles hurt. Mainly because Brent decided it would be much more fun to have cardio coffee sessions indoors, and try a new method of having fun. I had forgotten I had left my phone on when I snuck out of bed to go get cleaned up.
Brent was still sleeping.He is a heavy sleeper and besides my phone was on silent, or so I thought.When I walked out of the bathroom behold, Brent on my phone looking all tense and all sorts of angry. My phone was on loud speaker and he had his back turned to the door. It then dawned on me that I forgot to put it on silent.

” Luke what the hell do you want with my wife to be? I’ve seen all of your texts and heard your voice notes. ”

“You don’t deserve her she belongs to me . You also haven’t asked her to mary you so I can still take her away from you. Once she finds out what kind of guy you are.”

“She already knows about Jen and the stuff I did I told her everything. She loves me I’m pretty sure of that .”

When I wrapped my head around what was going on I retracted back into the bathroom and stood behind the door of the vanity room and listened in.
“Yes blah ,blah, and blah. Spare me the I’m so in love talk . When will you realize you don’t have her. I’ve known her longer than you.”

“She lives with me and Andrea loves her. So get this through your thick skull, I’m the face she sees in the morning and evening. We are an item. She loves me and I love her. I’m going to marry her.”
I air punched in looking at the mirror smiling … But my victory was short lived ,cause of what I heard next.

“You know she broke up with me; cause I wasn’t honest with her about my feelings for Summer. She forgave me . You I’m not so sure .”

“What are you talking about? You know nothing.”

“When Clara finds out about what you did.”

“I know about you and Kat . She doesn’t and the fact that she is her best friend and you two at some point were buddies and not just any kind of friends …”

“Where are you going with this ? ”

” You and Kat used to be friends with benefits before Timothy happened . ”

“You wouldn’t dare tell Clara. Don’t you dare.”

I peaked out and Brent was raking his hand through his hair . He still had his back to me . So I tiptoed into the closet which was next to the vanity room dropped my gown in the basket and got dressed . I needed to deal with what I just heard my best friend and boyfriend used to be coffee buddies . Kat owes me an explanation . I am so angry at the both of them for keeping the secret from me.
It wasn’t cold that morning it was autumn . I had decided to wear blue flare leg jeans , white sneakers ,a white top and a grey Arsenal hoodie … Courtesy of boutique ala boyfriend closet.

I tied my braids up into a neat coiled bun and grabbed my bag. By the time I had finished dressing up Brent had hung up.I wasn’t angry I just needed an explanation, and I couldn’t face Brent or I would explode into an anger rant. I couldn’t understand why he kept it from me and we had been together for a year. Kat and Tim were married already.
Oh my word Tim knew too. At that point I had one mission in mind … Get downstairs ,into the SUV and drive…
I remembered thinking to myself ; why… Am I doomed not to have a relationship that doesn’t involve a friend betraying me with the person I’m in love with.
The only reason I broke up with Luke was because he led me to believe that we could be together ; meanwhile he had feelings for Summer who he had known longer than me. He promised me that there was nothing going on , he swore up and down that Summer meant nothing.
I being indulgent took his word. It wasn’t until I saw them both when we went clubbing and I caught Summer snogging Luke and both of them declaring their love for each other . That night I lost the man I loved and let go of a friend. I cried an ocean of tears for three months and got over the whole au deal. As soon as Brent and I started getting serious and going out as a couple, Luke started texting me non stop… He got treated for his stalker syndrome. He became obsessive and I ignored him his obsession and compulsive behavior set off alarm bells.
Once he set his mind on something he was fixed. He fell for summer and I let him go. When he called the other day I sent all his calls to voice mail. I was snapped out of my recollection of events when I heard Brent call my name .

“Clara doe ? Clara where are you !?.”
I kept still until I heard the bathroom door open.I ran out the main bedroom and pulled the door handle at first it wouldn’t budge cause Brent locked it last night, I twisted the nob underneath, pulled the door handle again, and ran downstairs. We kept the car keys in the cabinet by the garage door.My car was parked outside cause I had to oversee a project for work later on in the day, and go to a popular food market with Brent for brunch. I unhooked the keys and headed for the doors ,I knew Brent was thorough so when he finally decides to use his phone to track me , it would tell him I’m sill in the house and he has a smart system he can control… Which I also had the codes to.
When I opened the main door I ran down the stairs , almost slipped but made it to my car.
I had two phones so as soon as I put my key into the ignition my phone rang . I answered the call without looking .

“Clara speaking.”
The person on the other end sounded calm.
“Where are you going?”
“To see Kat …”
“You heard the conversation … I know or you wouldn’t be running. Come back and let me explain. Kat and I happened a long time ago. It doesn’t compare to what I found in you and what we have. Luke is sick… Mentally and he needs help .I knew something was up last week so I did some digging. I called Leo … His with him as we speak.”

I took a deep breath and rested my head on the steering wheel.

“Why didn’t you ask me?”
“I was afraid you were going to run.”
When I lifted my head he was in front of the Jeep headed to the passengers side he knocked on the window and I opened for him. On that day the man I knew who kept secrets told me everything . We spent three hours talking about stuff he was afraid to tell me for fear of me running… I ended up staying …
Fast forward to now . This moment.
The moment my eyelids flutter open to lock eyes with my husband. Who has cut his hair and has an overnight stubble.Brent planted a kiss on my forehead, on my cheek and one on my hand .
I smiled at him.
“Brent wolf .”

“Clara doe.”

“Where’s our son?”

“With his grandfather and sister. His giving me the silent treatment.”

“Carlo saved our child.”
“I know . Hush don’t speak you need your rest.”
He looked like he’d been through hell.

“I’ve had enough . I need you . ti amo sempre ”

Brent kissed me and I kissed him back.

“ti amo sempre Clara Mia .”

“What’s wrong ?”
“I was afraid that’s all and now I’m thankful.”

“I love your new haircut.”
“Surprise… Good morning” Brent kissed me again.

“Good morning Mr Perelli and just so you know this doesn’t make up for you not kissing me good morning… The other day.”

“Three days ago . I just want to enjoy and live in this moment of peace…”

*A/N . Thank you so much for reading. I will be editing this chapter again :)*

© #KCMmuoe


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