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Same Difference -By- Kgali Claire Mmuoe

April 20, 2016

Same Difference -By- Kgali Claire Mmuoe
All Rights Reserved
© #KCMmuoe 2016
Chapter 5
#song #BlackByrd #still not over you


I heard Brent call my name but I couldn’t move… What was happening …
My whole body was riddled with shock , my head started to hurt out of nowhere… The last thing I remember was walking into the kitchen and something flew right threw the window shattering the glass I dropped my cup and all I heard was the smoke alarm . We live in a safe area and we have state of the art security on the complex. What the hell was going on … I was on the floor . All I remember was something painfully piercing through my clavicle . Oh hell no , no , no ,no … Our Baby … Brent has been through hell he can’t go through losing someone again let alone two people.  I thought they caught the guys who killed his parents and sister. It was related to something in his family … Every time I asked him about it he just got all agro. When I told him six years ago that I was pregnant with Andrew … He snapped and went Hulk angry… I can’t think about that now.

I sent up a silent prayer … God please let our baby and  Brent be okay . Please let me get through this…

“Clara! No no ! Not you,  come on now, come back to me you are not going to leave me… I will die.” 

Brent I’m not leaving you. Why can’t I respond … Slowly I started drifting away.

“Fight come on babe … Don’t you dare leave me. Andrew needs you, our baby needs you, Clara doe I need you, Open your eyes …”

Oh fudge sticks dipped in mint  chocolate its happening again I’m fading…

*Flashback. Friday June 5 2009

It had been a couple of months since Brent and I were official make that six since his revelation and admittance to having feelings for me, then declaring his undying love, and commitment to us  just the other night… Came as a surprised and I mean never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that I would in a stable relationship, with someone who gets me just as much as I get them.
Brent came across as an emotionally cold , broody ,and a picky guy.
If you were not in his circle you could forget ever getting to know him period.

That was then before we happened. I knew something was bothering him all week. I just couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong with my Honey bee . It was the first week so Andrea had gone down to Cape Town for the weekend and Brent had called me earlier on in the day and said he wanted to spend the weekend indoors.

The last time that happened he ended up taking me in every room in  his house … Correction our house he had given me the keys three months into the relationship. He always kept a clean house and everything was in order… Which was one of the many things I loved about him ,and still do. I remember calling in sick at work Monday morning. My excuse was simple… I’m coming down with a cold and I will only be in on Wednesday if I feel okay. They believed me and my boss told me to take the week off and get better…

Since I sounded terrible and I didn’t go out… I was sore from the weekends’ activities my throat included, it sounded like I swallowed gravel and my body felt painfully good.
If being in a room with Brent set off mini fire works in my veins… Being together with him ignited an inferno which was volcanic and cosmic on many levels.

It was a cold Friday night and I had made sure I submitted everything that needed to be done . I had a feeling that I was going to need an extra day so I took Monday off . Thunder started to rumble outside and I was pretty sure we were in for the mother of all storms … However there was another storm brewing in my heart…

Something was off … By now my phone would be flooded  with messages from Brent . I was apprehensive in calling him or telling him how much I missed him … It was unlike him to not call or check up on me through out the day. If he had a class or client he would’ve  said something… 

The drive to his house was the longest I’ve ever had. My nerves were shot . The only thing that was on my mind that evening was a terrifying thought.I pulled up , got out the car and left my duffle in the boot of the SUV. I ran up the stairs and instead of letting myself in I knocked on the Red door .
It started to rain actually it was pouring hard and I was starting to get wet. I knocked again for a good ten seconds … There was still no answer … I then searched for my keys in my purse and let myself in only to find a my luggage at the door I looked inside and everything that I brought clothing wise to the house was in there.It was an overnight bag  and a duffle everything was packed neatly I zipped up everything leaving the key Brent gave me on the counter and headed back to the car . I got in took a deep breath. I told myself I was a big girl and I shouldn’t cry . Before I drove off I booked myself into a hotel suite thirty minuets drive from Brent’s house since Kat and Tim also had plans for the weekend .
Upon arrival at The Michael Angelo. I told the front desk to put a visitors block on my account… Once I was settled, cleaned up  and in my PJ’s . I took out my phone … Still nothing from Brent… And a news flash message which I opened to try distract me had a picture of Brent and his  ex… Kissing … And the headline read;It couple back together. I sat in the middle of the bed taking deep breaths trying not to have a heart attack… This was just too good to bee true . Poor Andrea what am I going to say to her… It took another hour to put myself back together again and stop crying. I grabbed my phone and dialed Brent’s   phone number and hit the call button . It went straight to voice mail after the beep I spoke…

” Brent I get okay , I get it. Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to break up? I’ve been going half crazy all day , wait … Since yesterday thinking something was going on … I thought I could handle you keeping things from me . I’ve been patient and understanding enough… I can’t handle the pain I feel right now but I will … and if you want to end things its okay I’m letting you go. Even though it feels like I’m dying right now , I will live… I’m still confused as to why you didn’t tell me face to face directly that you don’t want to be with me … Was it something that I say or didn’t say … I need you to come clean with me , you owe me  that . Even if you’re  too much of a coward to look me in the eye and say that we are through … ”

I hung up and switched off my phone . Sat by the window and watched the rain fall on my window and at least try to wrap my head around what’s happening… Am I going to cope , will I cope … Oh my word why does it hurt so much. I was just too tired to do anything, let alone feel anything so I went to sleep the only thing that seems okay to do … Heaven let this be a dream…

© #KCMmuoe 2016

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