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SAME DIFFERENCE BY KGALI CLAIRE MMUOE

April 14, 2016

SAME DIFFERENCE BY KGALI CLAIRE MMUOE
© #KCMmuoe 2016
All Rights Reserved

Chapter 4
Brent
*Song : Westlife – Us against the world.*

They say a man is only as strong as the woman he loves… I didn’t expect to fall so hard for Clara . To be honest when she said yes , I was totally taken by surprised. She was dubbed as the toughest nut to crack by some of the guys and girls I knew… It didn’t register properly until the day after the first dinner party when I was playing host and chef that she was it.
She had been quiet all night but she seemed to be at peace . She and Andrea got along like milk and oreos. My niece rarely laughed when she was with other people and getting her to eat was always a mission… Clara did that with ease; there were a couple of times when I had to call her cause Andrea just wouldn’t touch her food. If she was away I would skype her and I would have Andrea talk to her and after thirty minuets she would be ready to eat .

Even with our son she always knows how to stop him from pulling the none sens he does when he has to eat.May be I’m too lenient with Andrew but she doesn’t confront him … She just simply sits down with him and we all eat as a family. I asked her the other night ; how on earth does she get our son to eat.
She just smiled at me and said ; she includes him in food preparation and cooking . Once a kid knows that they are part of creating something they find it easier to enjoy what they made, cause in their eyes they put a lot of work into the meal and they take pride in what they did . She also went on to tell me that validation and acknowledgment goes a long way. I later understood what she meant later as time went on.

I’ve been through my fair share of dark times and challenges .I’ve always come across as this tough guy who is over protective, extreme, intense, and emotionally cold. The only people I was super vulnerable emotionally my family, girlfriend, and best friend Timothy.
Jenifer was wild and she enabled me to be an out of control guy who didn’t care. The lifestyle I led was not the kind I would have loved my children to lead.I still can’t believe that I was such an idiot.

When Andrea told me she had found a perfect match for me , I laughed at her little did I know that she was right from the word go. I didn’t see it then but with much patience I eventually saw it…

I remember the first year of my relationship with Clara… She and Andrea grew fond of each other , you could say Andrea had an affinity for Clara , she naturally liked her and grew to love. her as time went on .

We didn’t live together which was a challenge for me , although it made me appreciate what we always had and still have that much more.
I can’t explain it but as far as feelings go … I fall in love with her everyday and its never going to stop not by a very long shot.

It took us a year after I told her I was in love with her to get her to move in with me, another year to ask her to mary me.Throw in one more year of couples counseling and Theology of the Body; which came in very handy in the long run .
Our relationship was far from easy . She was color blind which made things easier for me cause she saw me as a person and loved me for who I am. Interracial relationships aren’t easy socially with me being white and her being black she chose not to pay attention to nay sayers and so sayers. She saw me for me and loved every part including my dark parts.

I on the other hand had to adapt, cause I had never crossed the color line. Being from the same faith made it easier in a way. She was also very supportive ,steadfast and kind.
I tend to worry a lot about people I care about especially the ones I love .
Losing Laura was unexpected we had been through a lot together as siblings she always had my back… Even when I was with Jen and I knew she was bad. I miss her so much , but now looking back now she gave me the gift of overcoming

I was doing okay after a while until Tim told me about someone I just had to meet. Andrea had gone to Mima and I had the whole weekend to myself. Every last week Andrea went to Mima; and every last weekend I would be dragged out of the house by Tim to go have a good time at an event or club. There was a theme event on that winter weekend it was an animal mask ball in support of endangered species .

When we arrived . Tim introduced me to Kat. As soon as I met her , she was very welcoming and warm . We were lucky enough to get a private room courtesy of Tim who organized the room knowing how much I didn’t like crowds.
Kat introduced me to her friend. When I turned I couldn’t see her face cause of the doe mask on, all I saw was a tattoo of the zodiac star sign cancer on her shoulder blade , I saw it on the reflection of the two way glass ..
She had an LBD that complimented her body very well … She had well toned broad shoulders , firm arms but no muscles,a small waist and broad hips. The dress did her justice but I wanted to remove the mask she made sure I got no where near her face . She was in and out of the room twice. Once to answer a call and the second time to go downstairs. She wasn’t still most of the time, which gave me the impression she was either not interested in me or she was busy having fun downstairs.

Everyone was having a great time . Me included , but for some sort of odd reason I was missing the girl I just met.
She was different which was refreshing , we spent what seemed to be like hours talking about sports and food. She smelt of cinnamon mixed with some other woody node I couldn’t identify but she smelt intoxicating ely good when she gave me a hug, before she went out. Fifteen minuets after she left I decided to go looking for her … I asked Kat where she was and she pointed up .
I went out taking the lift to the rooftop as I went up it got quieter and quieter until there was less noise. I opened the door to find Clara on the grass lying face up with both hands on her tummy . Call it a somatinc reaction but I went into anxiety and panic mode at the same time and I ran to her side .

My breath went shallow , I started shaking and I zoned out for a moment going back to the day I lost both my parents. Flashbacks of flashing lights , blood stained walls , gunshot wounds, and dead bodies came back to me. As a boy I couldn’t understand what was going on why I could never speak to my father or mother ever again. I had snuck passed everyone to see what was going on . Both my parents were lying face up in an unnatural state with their limbs in all sorts of angles . On that fateful day I prayed … I prayed so hard that if they both open their eyes I will be a good boy.All I was told was that it was a brutal burglary that resulted in a tragedy. When Laura found me all I could remember was her tear stained face .I was caked in blood… My shirt, shoes ,pants and my hands were soiled in my own parents blood. I started brushing Clara’s forehead and feeling for her pulse on her neck with my other hand .

” Clara are you okay! You can’t leave me I just met you . Come back… Come back to me!. ”

When I snapped out of my episode Clara was already soothing me … She gave me a hug kneeling next to me and I had her in my arms.

“Shh its okay I’m not going anywhere ware wolf . I know the moon is full tonight but I didn’t know it makes grown wolves cry . Hush its okay I’m alive. Its okay. Are you okay?”

“What where you doing lying there so still no movement , you scared me… I thought …”

“I was just enjoying the night sky and oh the infinity pool has a calming effect on me and since we are in Joburg not the coast I love being outside when everything is still. I grew up here so … I know how to find peace in chaos .”

I let go of her and looked at her doe mask but I could see her eyes…not her face .”

“Thank God . I’m sorry if I freaked you out.”
“You didn’t Brent wolf ”
“Clara doe”
” Thank goodness someone gets that I’m a doe… You know some guys say dear and I get a tad bit annoyed.”

I couldn’t explain it that night or morning, there was something calming about her voice , that soothed something in me.

” There is something calming about your eyes… I could look at them all night if I can only…” I tried to touch her mask but she ducked and kissed me instead and I kissed her back . She pulled back and looked at me immediately putting her fingers on her lips .

“I shouldn’t have done that. This is so wrong on so many levels. You just reacted to something clearly something from the past.The look of terror in your eyes a moment ago gave it away. You were shaking…We just met five hours ago I don’t know you, but I am undoubtedly attracted to you so much so that I kissed. You . ” She stood up grabbed her heels and sat on one of the huge pool side couches that overlooked the pool reflecting the city lights . I sat next to her touched her shoulder and made her look at me only this time my mask was off.

“I’m not sorry we did. Clara doe . Usually chicks freak out on me when I have a somatic reaction … I work in the medical field … You just handled my episode like a pro … Which leads me to believe you’ve been through some sort of trauma that you have delt with . ”

I turned her face gently and like many times before I knew that I was spot on . She bit her bottom lip shut her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Brent now isn’t the time.This is me being polite… You look adorable without the mask. ”

Clara started rubbing her arms up and down. I had a jacket on and being the guy I was ,took it off and wrapped it around her .

” Since you refuse to remove your mask … I have another offer for you. Clara doe.”

“Fair enough since you have no mask and wow you have blue eyes . Seriously which chick would drop you… Or say no to you .”

“I’m looking at her right now and I want to be part of what she was doing before I kinda went into shell shock.”

” Aren’t you going to get cold .”
“No and stop evading my offer.”
“Okay”
“Okay”

” I will remove my mask on one condition.”
“Name it.”
“Sure Brent wolf … Close your eyes and lie down, don’t open them until I say so…”

I layed down and closed my eyes . Part of me was angst in a good way.

“Hand.”
She gave me her mask and layed next to me .
“You’re not bailing on me are you.”
“Na ah. The stars come out round about this time . Okay are you ready.”

” Always.”
“Open your eyes .”
The second I opened my eyes I was in awe . I had seen stars in the evening but never paid much attention until the moment Clara started telling me about the constellations and stories behind them. It was on that night that I knew I wanted her to be a part of my life … A permanent part. She ended up sleeping on my shoulder that morning … She had drifted unexpectedly…

It’s been two weeks since we came back from the hospital .That night in particular I had fallen and never stopped falling . When I asked Juan why he was doing what he did. He told me he liked my wife and my son was a pleasure to talk and hang out with . He made it clear that he meant well.
As for my wife she was the calmest she had ever been which in turn set off alarm bells .
Andrew was due for a visit to his grandmother Clara’s mother , see Mima was in Cape Town so Andrew usually went there on holiday.After we both dropped Andrew off. I wanted to go out on a date with my wife a proper date. She was mostly quiet on the way , so quiet that she fell asleep . I didn’t notice until I looked across and fell in love again , with a sight I rarely saw . Clara looking relaxed and in lala land . She was a light sleeper but given what we’d been through I wouldn’t be surprised if she turned into a heavy sleeper.

I decided to take a detour home, tomorrow was another day . When we got home she woke up and was still quiet. When we got inside the house I made her a cup of hot chocolate and some chocolate brownies I went back upstairs into our bedroom and set them by the table by the window and she was on the bed. Something was wrong…

“Claire doe?”
I sat across her on the Bed it , it was evening when we came back
“Brent wolf…?”
“What’s wrong? You have this habit of going all quiet and you’re not the type to confront when something is wrong… ”
She looked at me with tears in her eyes, which confirmed something was wrong.

“I can’t do this anymore.”
“What do you mean us? I love you I won’t let you go”
“Na ah … I love you way too much.”
“What happened before we left? What did Kat say ?”
I leaned over to hug her and she hugged me back.
“Angie lost her baby and I’m scared she is going to go crazy and harm our family .”
I held her lose…
“She won’t , I will do absolutely anything and everything to make sure she doesn’t come near you or our kids. I will protect you. What ever it takes I will. Remember one of the songs I chose for our wedding playlisyt when we got married.?”
She pulled back and un crossed her legs a put one hand on my shoulder and the one with her cast on my torso she kissed the crook of my neck and looked at me.

“Us against the world?”
“Yes my babe us against the world. I don’t ever see the day that I won’t catch you when you fall… ”
” I’m still falling Brent … I don’t think I’ll recover…”
She stood up and went to the table and I followed she sat down on my lap and started drinking and eating.

” Dejavu the last time we sat like this was when you were pregnant with Andrew when we made up . I promised you then I would never let you down and I won’t .”

Clara looked at me with a glint in her eyes , I knew the look all to well.

“Honey bee , I have an ache that you can only remedy…”

“Are you sure we don’t need a doctor?”
I smiled back at her and she got off my lap clearing the table
“I’m looking at the right one who just happens to be a physio a very good one in fact. We are so due for a make up session …”

” Correction … Sessions and I don’t want to get you sore .”
” Who said anything about getting me sore … I love the pain you inflict on me . If I had a problem I would speak .”

She leaned down to kiss me and made her way out.

“See you in a bit ?”
She nodded

“See you in a bit .”
She left the door open and I walked into Andy’s room only to find two blue glasses . We had a cookies and milk date last night and we bonded over our scars . By the time I went back into the master bedroom Clara had hit lights out …
I made my way down the hall en rout to the kitchen .

Everything was quiet until I heard my wife scream and glass breaking . I ran as fast as I could downstairs , I was running down the stairs when I heard a bang!…

“Clara ! Honey ! Where are you!”
She didn’t answer …
Panic set in and all I could see was smoke and broken glass …

*A/N. Thank you for reading. Please mind my spelling. I’m already busy with chapter 5 sorry chapter 4 took longer to post any constructive or good comments are always welcome.*

© #KCMmuoe 2016

KC MMUOE @->

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