Skip to content

SAME DIFFERENCE- BY KGALI-CLAIRE MMUOE

February 28, 2016

I started playing with my wedding band twisting it around. It was as if Brent knew I was about to make an impulsive decision. I always fiddled with my ring when I was so infuriated with Brent, it was a telltale sign I had enough.

 

He had pointed out that when we had a dispute with regards to problems that we talked out. He could sense my aggression or frustration and he didn’t need to say anything because he could hear my heart. Brent knew me so well… and I knew him too.

I tried to speak but my words never caught the air. I put my hand on my chest ,bowed my head, and with the other hand I waved signaling I can’t take anymore. I walked towards the door turned around and looked up.
Automatically I started fiddling with my wedding ring.

 Brent and I were connected in more ways than one.
I always felt him before he walked to where I was.
In the house;or at a party. It was almost an instinctive feeling I had that told me to look up… and when I did he was there looking at me too.

 

The feelings that followed were almost like fireworks that were ignited in my veins. They were volcanic. He would always stop what he was doing, smile at me if who he was talking to was an important contact. He’d leave a conversation with his friends to just keep me company or steal me away from a group of friends to either sneak in a kiss or just hold me cause he missed me.

He was the man I had for the longest of times prayed for.

 

 

He stood up from the chair; he walked towards me until we were standing face to face. I could feel his warm breath against my cold forehead; goodness I missed how good he smells, how good he always smelt…He smelt of cinnamon mixed with a hint of ginger during winter, and in summer he smelt of citrus nodes.

 

 I loved how much power and command he exuded and still does. Regardless of how I was feeling my heart started racing in a good way. He cupped my face and wiped away my tears. As soon as I could see clearly I saw that he was hurting as much as I was; but instead of looking at a pair of dark blue eyes that had no light four weeks ago … I was looking at a pair that had fire in them. The man I married was back. He was the only guy in the world who had the power to calm me down when I was close to losing it.

 

My hands were yellow from the cold outside. He took off his Arsenal hoodie and wrapped me up warmly.

 

“Thank you “

Brent cradled my face in his hands. Gently swaying me to look at him. I didn’t want to fall to pieces but Brent has seen me at my worst. This was nothing compared to us going through hell. However; this was a hell of a different kind that we needed to walk through.

“You know me better than I know myself. I want you to never doubt that you are the only woman in the world who gets me in a million ways and that you are my better half.” Tears started streaming down my face on to his hands.

 I wrapped my hands around his wrists . He was still wearing the bracelet I gave him to celebrate our first anniversary. It only seemed like it was just yesterday when we went on our first date.

“I guess I’m still learning. Perfect is far from what I am. I’m only human. ”

 

“Clara you are perfect for me in every way. My heart beats for you and Andy”

“Oh my word you’re going to, make me cry even more. After what’s been going on it feels like I’m fighting a losing battle.”

 

 “Don’t cry sugar; when you cry it makes me cry twice as much, and when you hurt it hurts me too twice as bad. I love you and our son too. I carry your heart in my heart always”

 Brent said the last sixteen words with a raspy voice; he even started crying too. I removed his hands from my face and wiped his tears. He smiled when I touched his face and wiped his tears. He responded by wrapping his arms around my waist and leaned down to kiss me. I kissed him and hugged him back.

 

 I hadn’t realized how much I missed him until that moment, the moment we kissed. I hated fighting with Brent. He was my other half and as much as we have been through hell and back together we always found our way back out of whatever obstacle we were facing.
“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

” Oh please don’t mind me. ”

Angela retorted by scowling at both Brent and Clara.

” Honey suckle…”

“Honey bee.”

“I don’t have the energy to argue with Angela right now … Andy needs us.”

Brent kissed my forehead .

” Okay my babe.”. He then turned to Angela.

” Stay away from my family. I don’t care if you are family, don’t you dare pull the stunt you pulled… Then you will know how ugly I can get when you threaten my happy home.”

We walked out leaving Angela seething. She got the message loud and clear that there was no stopping both of us.

 We were connected in more ways than one. No matter how hard she had tried Brent and I found our way back even stronger.

 

We were on our way back to the waiting room when I saw him… The guy from the roof top. He was watching a man who was happy to have a baby girl, his eyes were crimson red he looked hurt, in pain, and agony. My heart broke for him. How could such a sweet kind man go through such emotional torment. 

The second I looked at him and made contact he faked a smile and grimaced. Brent had my hand in his and we were walking together hand in hand. He was still in shock after I kissed him back. He just needed to sit down and settle down, I could tell by his rapid breathing. He expected me to run but I didn’t.

 

I genuinely smiled back at him and mouthed; I am sorry .Are you okay.

He shook his head and mouthed back thank you. Brent turned and looked at the man who looked in distress. He was about to say something when Timothy came through looking all sorts of grim and stressed.

He didn’t make any eye contact with me .Brent pulled me by the waist and he held my hand tightly. We both sat down .I was as calm as can be given what had just happened ,but Brent being Brent was not taking any  chances when it came to Andrew.
 

“Tim what’s going on with my son?”

 
“Your son is very ill … Now I need to let the both of you know that we have the best pediatric doctors on his case. We hope he will be okay . I know Andrew doest react well to penicillin so we are getting him the alternative. He has a bacterial lung infection. Its the third case in as many days .I will tell you anything once I get feedback okay…”

“Thanks Tim. ”

Brent started crying out of the blue. He seldom cried. He was allergic to penicillin from a young age… he thought Andrew wouldn’t have the same reaction. Tim turned his attention to Brent

“Brent I would never give you the run around when it comes to Andy. I know the last word you want to hear is hope and all you want is surety. I can’t promise you that… he almost didn’t make it but he will be okay .He will. I will do everything in my power okay “

Tim nodded and made his way out.

 

Brent cleared his face and turned his attention to me and the look on his face said it all. He was afraid something was going to happen to our son and what killed him was the fact that he was powerless.

 
I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him on the crook of his neck and on his jaw.

I missed  him so much that all I wanted to do was just be in his arms all day and all night and never let go. Besides we were due for a makeup session a very serious make up session; but our son came first no matter what. He knew about the surprise I had planned for his father, we talked in detail and he agreed to keep the secret.

  

“hey babe he will be okay ,he has to be , we have a lot to discuss .I know you really hate being in a state where you feel like you can’t do a thing…but he will be okay ,he has to be.”
 

Brent turned to look at me with worried eyes. First of all he was worried that I hadn’t slept properly in the past twenty four hours, secondly he was feeling guilty for reacting the way he did when we had the argument, and thirdly I could tell by the way he wouldn’t let go of my arm he was afraid of the unknown . He pulled me closer to him and looked at me.

 
“You are so calm about this whole situation. Knowing you, you would have already lost it. You’ve had a hectic couple of hours… I want us to work things out. Come to a point where we just know how to deal.

 
I know when you are this quiet or calm you are about to tell me something huge.”

 

I got off Brent and kissed his forehead. I swiftly stood up and started walking towards the stairs again. I seriously have to think about another walk out plan cause this habit of running upstairs is getting old.

“I need to go upstairs to the ladies, I feel nauseous… “

 I actually did feel nauseas and I hadn’t eaten which was worse.

“You are keeping something from me what is it. I know when you are running or trying to hide… That man did something to You.

Better yet let’s pretend you never slept with him or let him touch you!”

Brent didn’t buy my story. He stood at the foot of the stairs and he had stopped chasing me. I started crying again I was afraid and the only thing I knew that was safe was to run. I trust my husband yes but when his all sorts of afraid and uncertain; he can be annoying.

 

“I cannot be angry with you. Please don’t do this not now. Andrew and I had something to tell you. I can’t until he is okay. How many times do I have to tell you that nothing happened? I can’t talk to you when you’re like this. You sure do have a knack for pushing too hard.”

 
“If not now then when hah? Cause we both know something has changed, and it is not because Andy is fighting for his life.

 I have to deal with you being half way across the world. What’s even more worse is that I am going out of my mind, no wait half crazy, cause I’m seeing pictures of you with some model, living it up. I am your husband. I need you, more than that I need you by my side not in some guys arms!”

 
I threw my hands in the air and turned around and ran up, I needed fresh air again and ran up and he followed me… but stopped.   

 

I was wiping my tear stained face; when the bathroom door swung open unexpectedly, I was pushed and I somehow lost my footing. The last thing I remember was seeing Angela’s face Brent saying watch out and then there was blackness.

 tbc»

© #KCMmuoe -“>KC MMUOE

KC MMUOE @->

Advertisements
Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: