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SAME DIFFERENCE – BY KGALI CLAIRE MMUOE

February 26, 2016

SAME DIFFERENCE – BY #KgaliClaireMmuoe

Clara

I ran as fast as I could upstairs. When I finally made it I took a deep breath and took in the beautiful view. The city was lit . The teeming traffic looked like a swarm of fire flies going in two different directions, I don’t know what it is about moving cars that is so calming in a bizarre way. The sea has the same effect on me . I took in a second deep breath and the icy cold air hit my nostrils; my throat felt like it was on fire. It was scratchy before but
 it was getting bad. Brent had told me before we took Andy in that I was coughing all night, he thought it was nothing . I had difficulty swallowing my coffee this morning but still it could be anything. I took another breath and ended up coughing .

” That sounds pretty bad .While you’re here get it checked before it gets worse. ”
A husky voice came out of nowhere … I thought
I was alone but I wasn’t . He took off his blue scarf and wrapped it around my neck . He was tall dark and devilishly handsome .He smelt of cinnamon mixed with vanilla. His dark brown hair was curly and his light brown sad eyes were blood shot red. Clearly he had been crying when I came out the door . I swallowed hard before I could speak.

“Thank you . To what do I owe such kindness ?”

“Nothing really.”

I looked at him and winced . I really shouldn’t be having such feelings of warmth and fuzziness for a perfect stranger.

“You’ve been crying your eyes are red . Either the team you support lost. Someone took your favorite snack,or maybe it has to do with a girl.”

” You had me at thank you, and your last answer was the correct one. ”

“You love her?”
I sat down on the bench and he sat next to me

“With all of my heart, but she just broke it. ”

“If I’m being invasive…”

He took both my hands into his and looked at me. This is wrong my heart shouldn’t be beating this fast . As fast as my heart was beating I was overcome with calmness. I have my wedding ring on thank heavens. I love my husband ,my husband… What’s his name again I can’t have mini amnesia not now . Not when guy is being friendly with me . Oh hell; I’m struggling to construct proper sentences.

“No, no, you’re not . You are a welcome distraction . A beautiful one in fact.”

I leaned back only to cough again.

“You’ll have to excuse my irritating cough.”

He took out a pack of lozenges honey flavored . I could tell by the yellow color.

“This should help ease the pain.”

“Its helping. Nameless and mysterious guy.”

” My name is Juan .”
“Clara. Taylor . Nice to meet you Juan”

He took my hand and kissed it.

“Your husband shouldn’t have left you alone; I sure as hell wouldn’t if you were mine.”

“I ran out on him . We had an argument.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too . What really happened?”

“The girl I loved slept with my best friend . Lied about it and I went through all the feelings and preparation for being a father . Only to find out that I’m not going to be one. The child isn’t mine.”

He covered his face from the embarrassment of tears that had sprung from his eyes .I gave him a tissue .

“I’m so sorry. You seem like an amazing guy. She was a fool to do what she did . I’m sure you can forgive .”

He lifted his head .

“How tell me how?”

He blew his knows and wiped it clean

” Love forgives and heaven knows I’ve forgiven my husband more than once and he has done the same for me. Try again . I love Brent he loves me that’s all that matters .”

“What if he has a child by your best friend. What then?”

“Love the kid like my own … Oh and forgive .”

“You’re helping…”

“I’m glad and you’re helping too.”

“How?”

“You just reminded me how much of a believer in love and forgiveness I am. Love endures all things and never fails. ”

Juan cracked a smile

“Love is, love knows .”

We both laughed.

“How do you heal a breaking heart?”
“Clara how do you heal a broken one”
We both stood up and hugged each other

“You love again. Juan”

I was about to take off his scarf and give it to him.

“Keep it … You need it more. ”

I un -clipped my rosary bracelet put it in his hand and pushed back his fingers .

“Keep this for when you really need to talk to someone who knows. I have to go.”

I ran towards the door

“Hope to see you again angel. ”

“Who knows …Keep warm. Bye”
I ran back downstairs .
****

It had already been an hour since we took our son in and besides being on edge; I was starting to get frustrated and feeling angst.  Brent had gone out to fill out some forms wen I left and he was taking longer than expected. Maybe cause I walked out on him while he was talking, but I was angry with good reason .I needed to cool off so did Brent.

 

 I finally couldn’t stand being alone in the waiting room, so I went to the coffee machine. I decided to take the short cut, which meant passing through the maternity ward.

 

I was shivering cold and needed to get warm, my fingers had already turned yellow from the cold and the air-conditioning inside didn’t do a great Job in warming me up either but the scarf Juan gave me was serving its purpose.

I was stopped on my tracks by something I saw at the corner of my eye .I knew the laugh from somewhere so I decided to walk towards the door. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw…
 

“Brent; do you want to hear her heartbeat? She is yours you
know; we created something beautiful while your wife was away.”
 

“Wait are you sure this is my child? Because I remember that night we didn’t sleep together, I need to ask the doctor some questions cause this lie of yours might cost me my marriage. The child isn’t mine and Andrew isn’t … a distraction he is my son I love him and his mother.”

 

I walked even closer cause, I had found Brent and the root of the problem as to why he was behaving the way he was.

The Doctor came back from the other room and said something that tore me apart.
 

“Well aren’t you the cutest couple ever. Brent Angie has told me so much about you and everything that’s been burdening you, especially that absent wife of yours. At least you told Angie what your problems were. She is lucky to have you…I mean what kind of a woman leaves her son and husband behind to go work. Angela; remember you told me what Brent said? ” 

“Yes. He mentioned what would happen when Andy gets sick and your exact words were that I quote; our marriage might as well just be over and our son is better off with other people … Clara and I might as well be strangers”

 

I had heard and seen enough. I couldn’t believe my ears at the same time my heart was breaking. I walked into the room and Angela gave me a smirk and Brent had guilt written all over his face.
 

“I will leave all three of you alone. I have to go refuel Angela; please don’t leave yet.” 

I looked at Brent strait in the eye. I had never felt so betrayed and heartbroken at the same time on top of that our son was fighting for his life and here he was with the woman, the other woman who he claimed he had never slept with. Part of me believed him but the other part of me was in doubt.

 
 

“Hey cousin I agree with Brent; you sometimes don’t deserve to be Andrews’ mother. Brent is getting a chance to be a father again and this time he will have me.”

 

“Angie I am more of a mother to my son than you’ll ever be I raised him and maybe when you have this baby, you will understand  the meaning of provision and loving someone more than life itself, he is the apple of my eye. I am not about to justify to you why my son means the world to me. I cannot believe we are family”

 

I swallowed the lump I felt on my throat cause I couldn’t let her see me at my weakest.

Two weeks ago Brent and I fought… We rarely fought; but on that night he was so angry. He had every reason to be but it was an honest mistake… Someone took a picture that he misinterpreted, even when I was cleared of any wrong doing.

 

“Well if that’s the case why is it always Brent who is there for your five year old and you are nowhere to be found when he needs you hah, what if he falls ill and you are half way across the world and Brent is lonely again. Look at you… I wouldn’t be surprised if you were on something… Your eyes are so red you don’t deserve the life that you have!”

Her words were like bullets to my heart. She was being brutally mean but… They somehow hit home.

 
I was getting more annoyed of Angela by the second and she didn’t know what she was talking about. It was when I bit back a curse and couldn’t hold back my tears; that’s when Brent interjected. I didn’t have the energy let alone the strength to fight back. I started to feel a bit light headed and physically ill.

 
“Angela please keep quiet you don’t know what you are talking about and you don’t talk to my wife like that. She is the woman I love with all of my heart. You caught me at a time when I was feeling pathetic about myself. You used that to make me believe we slept together. I just passed out that night. I was out of it.

 

  I went through the smart system security footage … I am not the father of your child. You left before dawn and I don’t know what you said to my son cause he has been all moody since that night.

Hell he even refused to talk to me for the past two weeks since then. I am not the father and as soon as you get it through that thick skull of yours, you will realize that you need help.

 You will leave my family and I alone I just checked the dates and the baby you are carrying isn’t mine he , so stop it right now. You have no Idea what Clara and I have been through. I want to work things out with her”

“Oh really … That’s not what you said last night” 

“Brent what’s Angela talking about?”

“I called her after our fight. She reminded me how much I loved you”

I walked to the window in the room and took a painful deep breath and turned around to look at a smug Angela and my stressed husband…
© #KCMmuoe -“>KC MMUOE

KC MMUOE @->

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