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SAME DIFFERENCE -BY KGALI CLAIRE MMUOE

February 23, 2016

BRENT

 

The past two weeks have been hectic. My wife had been away for so long, just to have her in my arms peaceful and in lala land is like a dream to me.

The past three days must have been hell for her and to think that I caused unnecessary drama. The argument we had over the phone was brutal. I was shooting bullets from my mouth and I hated myself afterwards. Clara wouldn’t talk to me or answer any of my texts and to top it all off Angela ;who is not such and angel is causing discord between us.

I need to find the man I once was, the man my wife married and my Son knew.
With her I always find myself. I married her for a reason … for many reasons. Half of me is her and half of her is me and my son k symbol of our love is our son. Andrew. Who was nothing short of a miracle .

 

They both mean the world to me I’d be a mess if I lost both of them. I wanted to make love to my wife but she hit lights out after I literally carried her over my shoulder from the guest room to our bedroom. We both fell asleep… well she fell asleep before me. Damn jet lag I could have had great make up sex with my wife, sleepy sex is an option… but I am not that selfish, she needs her rest.

 Thank goodness she is off for the next couple of months. I just hope I can redeem myself or better yet make it up to her by making her a meal or setting up date night. Flip as if losing my job and being in and out of jobs wasn’t that bad. Money has never been a problem for both of us and she gives me what I need and want; spiritually, mentally, physically …with no questions asked. I am thankful for her period.

 

 

It was 5am in the morning and knowing my wife she would have already been up jogging. She was still asleep and I wanted to hold her like it was the last time we were ever going to be together.

That’s what it feels like every time we fight. I am always afraid of losing her… Even worse I cannot imagine her loving someone else.
She knew about Angela and her tricks and she knew I would never cheat on her. That woman needs a wake up call, there is only one girl for me and she’s right here all mine .

 

Andrews’ room was right across ours so if anything would happen or if there was any sign of him waking up I would hear. He too had a knack for getting up early like his mother. Just the other day he made me his famous jelly bean, peanut butter and banana sandwich with warm milk for breakfast and told me that Clara said he should feed me if I don’t wake up after nine in the morning. Amazingly it tastes pretty good.

I missed Clara waking me up with kisses and breakfast in bed. Something was up. I was up early and both sources of my joy were not.

 

The house was silent and then out of nowhere I heard a loud thud across the hall. It sounded like something had fallen. Clara’s eyes flew open and she jerked out of my arms and out of bed ,ran to Andrews’ room and followed her…

 

“Andy. I’m here what’s wrong angel?”

“Mommy you’re back I missed you so much.” 

She ran his side and he was shivering, this was the second fever in as many days and I had kept it from Clara. Tim told me he was okay and I should just keep an eye on him. If the same symptoms occur again I should call him. He had picked up something from school and he was cleared and healthy. I still feel bad for keeping information from my wife, she should have known but I was angry and acted on impulse.

 

 

“ I missed you. Mommy I hurt everywhere I don’t feel too good.”

Clara took Andrew in her arms and tried to soothe him . She gave him a kiss on the forehead and I could sense that she was scared.

“I’m here my boy , daddy is here too. All will be okay”
 

Andrew started crying. It wasn’t a normal cry it was a cry of agony and pain; I knew the cry so well cause I heard it five times and the last time was a couple of days ago.

When Andy had settled down and his fever wasn’t high we both walked back into the bedroom I closed the door behind me, sat next to her and gave her a hug . She started sobbing on my shoulder and all I could do was just be there for her.

” Honey bee I know you’re overwhelmed right now , but all that matters is that you are here.”

“The last time he got hurt or fell ill I wasn’t here. You know how guilty I still feel and now his got a fever again. We need to call Tim . I want our son healthy and happy.”

” I know .Tell you what he seems to be okay for now so ,how about we get cleaned up and spend some time together with him. We’ll call Timothy okay ”

“Okay.”

“You’re not a bad parent. You’re a phenomenal parent . Who deserves a gold star.”

I kissed my wife , we both got cleaned up and had some breakfast.

 The next couple of hours that followed were the scariest in my life. We both ran to Andy’s room when we heard him cry. When I opened the door, and flicked on the light switch and Andrew screamed again. He looked like he was in pain and his rapid shallow breathing wasn’t a good symptom. With no hesitation I ran for the ear thermometer and Clara took his temperature; it was well over the limit for a boy his age.

 

“Honey Drew doesn’t look like himself, complained of chest pains before you came back.
On the way back from school yesterday; I tried to talk to him but he just wouldn’t he gave me one word answers. His teacher told me he wasn’t himself again during school and play time when I asked him what was wrong… he refused to talk to me after we had an argument. He takes the one word silent treatment from you.”

 

The moment I saw the look in Clara’s eyes my heart sank. The last time I saw her in such a state was when Andrew fell off his bike and broke his arm. I was being vigilant but Andrew insisted he leave him alone to ride the bicycle. He was determined. A trait he picked up from me.

 

Being five years old he had picked up some mannerisms and was starting to develop his own personality. He had Clara’s eyes, my nose, my dark features and smile. He also had a tendency; manipulate any situation to make it work in his favor, another thing he inherited from me. He was every bit Clara’s as well as me. He was a sensitive soul as much as he loved to explore and read, he also had a quiet side to him.

 

 We both knew that something was wrong. His high fever, cough and mucus color were dead giveaways. We rushed Andrew to the hospital.
On the way to the hospital we called Tim, he was Andrews’ doctor. In no time we made it to the hospital and Drew was taken in.
 

If you would have asked me in the morning when I woke up if I was okay … I would have said yes without a shadow of a doubt.

 I was looking out the window in the waiting room thinking about Andrew. Clara was distant and moody. I could tell cause she was quiet and she was sitting down looking at the swing doors which meant she was far away. I thought she needed alone time but she needed me, I could tell by the way she was sitting. She had her chin on her knees and was in fetal position. With no hesitation I sat next to her.

 

“Honey… it’s not your fault “I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She let go and hugged me back.

 

“I am so scared and what worries me is that this could have happened while I was away.”

 

I looked into Clara’s eyes and she continued to probe

 

“Brent what aren’t you telling me?”

 

“Andy had an infection last week. He was cleared by Tim and I was fighting with you on that day. I was so angry about the rumor and the pictures I saw. I wanted to get back at you”

 

“Our son isn’t a weapon to use against me when you are angry. I told you nothing happened between me and that guy. Nothing he was drunk and I just happened to walk in his direction and he kissed me. “

 

She stood up and broke my shackled embrace and walked to the door that led to the staircase. The look on her face said it all.

I was over reacting to something that happened accidentally and out of her control.

 

“Oh just like you kept quiet for a month when you knew you were pregnant with Andy“

 

“That’s not fair”
She shot me a dagger look…

 

At that moment Clara looked like I just slapped her and knocked the wind out of her at the same time. I was angry at her for something I did and if she hadn’t picked that up; she would sooner.

 

“Is it really”

 

“I was on an assignment for that month and I couldn’t get hold of anyone. Including you hence I told you when I came back.”

 

I held back a curse and walked towards her but she lifted her hands in defense.

 

“Don’t even try… and we have been married for what… six years.
I had a feeling last night that you were keeping something from me. I want you to come clean… “

 

It was freezing outside and she started walking. She was headed out and she was in no condition to be out in the cold. She was coughing all night.

 

“Don’t walk away while I’m…”
I barely finished my sentenced when she ran out. I let her go so she could sort out her feelings . I knew her well enough to give her time.

I remembered that Angela said she wanted me to see her. She had sent me a text earlier that she would be around the hospital and I had to come.

That woman has caused more harm to my family than good. Part of me wanted to run after Clara and tell her that; I am sorry for being a jerk and I should have told her what was going on.

The other problem solving part of me wanted me to sort the problem that was Angela. I made my way to the ward which was just down the hall.

There was no news about my son and I didn’t want to go crazy waiting. Timothy would have already told me something but it was too soon…
 
»TBC
 © #KCMmuoe -“>KC MMUOE

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