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DIARY OF A SOMEWHAT EMPLOYED EDUCATED 27 YEAR OLD I AM NOT. MY JOB (Don’t bully me , just cause I don’t fight back doesn’t mean I don’t feel. Still waters run deep.) “A nail that sticks out will be hammered down” Japanese proverb….)

September 4, 2015

DIARY OF A SOMEWHAT EMPLOYED EDUCATED 27 YEAR OLD
I AM NOT. MY JOB
(Don’t bully me , just cause I don’t fight back doesn’t mean I don’t feel. Still waters run deep.)
“A nail that sticks out will be hammered down” Japanese proverb….)

Just cause I’m doing me better than you’re doing you, doesn’t mean you can take shots at me . I wasn’t the one who told you to follow the current you took that choice,and just cause I break the mould and go against the current doesn’t mean that you can treat me like scum.

It’s never easy when you are constantly called out for being either different or never one to conform or fit the mould.
I’ve grown a year older from my last post and I’ve gained a couple of skills that I have never thought in my wildest dreams I would acquire . Then again anything that is learned or gained through any situation good or bad is never a wasted opportunity .
Earlier on this year I went through something that I’ve been through before . Getting shots fired at me for either telling the truth or giving a balanced analysis as to why something went wrong .

There was an event that happened at work that I was scheduled for . A good old freshman party.Now the brief was to get video pledges from students and submit videos .
Being in 3 colleges before and having had my fair share of freshman parties 3 times . I knew that the only way to reach target and complete task , was to go early , when students are less inebriated and there is less cacophony. Also a contingency plan will work since we were traveling. No one listened to me .
Instead of doing what I said ; just cause I’m just a “brand ambassador” they ignored my suggestion.

Instead quiet the opposite happened. We had less video pledges , which meant target wasn’t reached , more background noise ,more drunk students who didn’t want to be on video oh and well mother nature opened the flood gates and let it rain. My supervisor at that time didn’t gage the gist of what was going on and blamed us his crew for things going wrong…

I get that things go wrong . That’s why we have “contingency” plans ,but if you as a leader blame your team for your mess up instead of taking responsibility and saying that things went wrong and this is what should have happened let’s move forward and learn, but instead you find excuses and shift the blame instead of owning up to your mistake … That is when I as your subordinate don’t take you seriously and file for request to be moved to another team, cause it’s elementary that you as a leader first of all failed listen, delegate and oversee the operation and execution of the task and blame us for not completing the mission.

Instead of telling my agent who has never treated me with respect at all and not available when needed if not bully the shit out of me and make me feel inferior . Not mention to treating me like I have no education whatsoever ,I kept quiet… and gave balanced report as to why things went wrong to a member management; who asked what happened?. I am more courageous and direct when I don’t feel threatened or belittled in anyway and I am able to not only explore but also be taken seriously when I see fire and everybody gets burned cause they didn’t listen.

Lately my agent has been a bully not only towards me but to my other colleagues . I avoid conflict wherever possible, but to what extent . I don’t think keeping quiet is helping anymore.
They tell me to let it go… When I laid a complaint of harassment and unfair treatment, her boss swept my case under the rug… It took all the fight in me to try and make her see the problem, but she brushed it off. Its as clear as daylight that she is protecting her cause when I escalated the matter ,still they didn’t take me seriously .
I’m most likely the one they would never suspect of snaping or just turning ,cause I have learned to deal with any situation as intelligently and as balanced as possible with minimal harm. I’m not going to turn and harm myself . That would be stupid and dumb if not cowardice and I’m much smarter than that . Its not worth it.
All I know is that I have had enough . Just because of my inability to be mean or volatile doesn’t mean that I don’t have anything to say ,and because I go quiet it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to fight back. I just have self control.

I am not my job … I might be old money who has fallen on hard times… But I will bounce back . I am my own brand and I wear it with pride and a pinch of craziness. As I said in my previous blog post . Scars are just scars , they fade . You were not built to break but to endure and triumph. ūüėČ

#Hectic post but has to get stuff off my chest.
CR

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